Let’s talk about something that quietly weighs on a lot of us.
This conversation with Heather Shingleton from Clutter Company stayed with me. Not because it was about organizing. But because it was about what’s underneath all the stuff.
Because if you’ve ever looked around your home and thought, How did it get like this?… you’re not alone.
It Usually Starts with Something Deeper
Heather didn’t set out to start a business.
She was a nurse. A mom. Busy. Tired.
And like many of us, she was trying to keep everything going at once. Work. Kids. A home that looked like the dream on paper.
But something felt off.
One quiet night, she asked herself a simple question:
“Am I happy?”
And the answer changed everything.
Not overnight. Not all at once. But it started a shift.
The Truth About “Stuff”
Here’s something that might surprise you:
- The average home has around 300,000 items
- We use about 20% of them regularly
- The other 80% still needs attention, space, and energy
That means most of what we own is quietly asking something from us.
- Find a place for me
- Clean me
- Organize me
- Deal with me later
It becomes a constant mental list running in the background.
And over time, that adds up.
Why It’s So Hard to Let Go
This is where it gets interesting.
It’s not just about being “organized” or “messy.” There’s actually something deeper going on.
Heather shared a few things that make a big difference:
1. We’re Looking for Connection
When we don’t feel connected, we sometimes replace that feeling with things.
Buying something new gives a quick lift. It feels good for a moment.
But it doesn’t last.
2. We’re Looking for Purpose
When life feels unclear or heavy, it’s easy to hold onto things that once meant something.
Even if they don’t fit our life anymore.
3. We’re Wired for the Reward
Shopping gives a small hit of dopamine.
And now, it’s easier than ever to get it.
Click. Buy. Delivered.
Repeat.
4. We Carry Guilt and Shame
- “I spent money on this.”
- “I should use it.”
- “What if I need it later?”
So instead of letting it go, we hold onto it.
Even when it’s not serving us anymore.
What Actually Helps
Heather’s approach is simple. And it works because it starts with the right questions.
Not “Where should this go?”
But:
- When did I last use this?
- If it disappeared today, would I replace it?
- Does this fit the life I’m living right now?
Those questions create clarity.
And clarity leads to change.
A Better Goal: Find Your Minimum
One phrase Heather uses stuck with me:
“Discover your minimum.”
Not minimalism for the sake of it.
But finding that place where:
- You can reset your home without stress
- You know where things are
- Your space feels calm, not chaotic
That looks different for everyone.
But you’ll know it when you feel it.
A Few Practical Ways to Start
If you’re thinking, Okay… where do I even begin? — start small.
- Pick one space
A drawer. A closet. One corner. - Keep a donation bin nearby
Make it easy to act when you’re ready. - Group like items together
It helps you see what you actually have. - Set simple limits
A certain number of hangers. One bin per category. - Give yourself time
It took time to bring it in. It will take time to let it go.
Let It Be a Process
One of my favorite reminders from this conversation:
You don’t have to do it all at once.
You can go slow.
You can change your mind.
You can learn as you go.
And you can give yourself grace when it’s harder than you expected.
The Part That Matters Most
This isn’t really about stuff.
It’s about:
- Feeling at peace in your home
- Making space for what matters
- Letting go of what doesn’t
And sometimes, it starts with a simple question:
Are you happy?
If the answer feels a little uncertain, that’s okay.
It might just be the beginning of something better.